This year wasn’t all I expected. It was a year in which I learned a lot of things but in a hard way.
It was a year when I lost my loved ones, secrets revealing themselves, and saw the people around me taking off their masks and revealing their real faces.
During this year, I’ve learned that I can trust only myself. I learned that no matter how many times everyone tells me they’re going to be there forever, they’re going to walk away, making excuses as soon as things get bad.
I learned that I shouldn’t give too much of myself to people who don’t deserve it and that words mean nothing if the actions are different.
I learned that family doesn’t necessarily mean safety and that anyone who swore they would always protect me came out with the first bump on the road.
This has been a year since I’ve learned a lot about myself. I learned to control my emotions, control the way I react, and embrace every change as if it were the best thing that’s happening to me.
During this year, I’ve completely changed, but I’m totally fine with it.
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I was unlucky enough to lose people I thought were my best friends. But actually, they were with me just for some personal interest.
They were with me because it was convenient for them. And nothing more. So losing them was a bad thing, but when I look closer, I better have seen their real faces in time.
This year you taught me that when someone says they love me, it doesn’t always mean it’s going to last forever. I’ve learned that love is all about how much effort you’re willing to make for someone.
That’s how much you’re willing to give them without asking for anything in return. I’ve learned that I shouldn’t force things, especially when it comes to love. And that was the most important thing I’ve learned so far.
This year also taught me that the only person I should trust is myself. Because I trusted so many people in my life, and they all took advantage of me.
They let me down, taking me for granted and neglecting me. They didn’t see how much I was willing to make an effort for them. They just took care of themselves.
This year I learned that in life I can only trust myself. I’ve learned that every time I fall, I have to get up. I learned that I should never give up.
Because if I do that, I’m completely lost. I’m just going to be another woman who gave up her life. And that’s not something I want to do.
I also learned that there will be different phases in life and that not always everything will be so perfect. There will be difficult moments, moments when I will feel that I am losing my mind, but I will overcome them if I believe in myself.
I’ve learned that life and love aren’t just about a man, and if he doesn’t make me feel happy, then I shouldn’t hold on to him.
I’ve learned that love will come when I least expect it and that it’s something I shouldn’t force. It must come to me naturally.
I learned I don’t need a man to complete myself. I don’t need one to be my hero either. I’m strong and capable enough to take care of myself.
And even when I’m tired to the bone, I’ll find that little bit of power inside me to keep moving. I’ll never give up, especially not myself.
This year taught me many things, and some of them completely changed my view of life. I’ve learned that I can survive everything that happens to me on my own and that I don’t need anyone’s help.
And even though more bad things than good have happened this year, I’m grateful for that. I’m grateful because, in this way, I’ve learned to deal with life’s problems and come out of them with a cool head.
This year helped me grow and understand myself better. And most importantly, it helped me see that no matter how broken I am, I can be whole again.
Cristina is the author of ‘Looking in the Eyes of Anxiety and Depression, a book that will change the way you fight anxiety and depression.
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