When the heavens take away your loved one from you, every day that passes without them is difficult in its own way.
However, the holiday season is especially difficult.
While everyone thinks of this period as the best time of year, you struggle with your thoughts.
The pain and memories haunt you, and no one more than you try, you can’t be part of the holiday euphoria.
Well, I’m here to tell you that you don’t have to force yourself into anything.
In fact, their struggles are completely natural.
However, this does not mean that you should allow the pain to consume you.
That’s why we’re here to give you some important reminders to make this time of year as easy as possible.
YOU’RE NOT WEAK BECAUSE YOU FEEL THAT WAY
Whenever sadness comes to you, you can’t believe you’re still as weak as you were last year.
You remember all the advice you’ve heard about time healing all wounds, but it seems that none of this is reaching your brain, and you still feel like you haven’t moved an inch.
Well, let me say that you’re not alone in this and that you’re not weak.
Different people have different coping mechanisms and different ways of dealing with their sadness, so just because you don’t see your closest ones crying all day, that doesn’t mean they’re not going through the same things as you.
However, even if you’re the only one feeling that way, and even though it looks like everyone has been able to cope better with the pain, it’s still no reason for you to feel bad and not consider yourself strong enough.
Remember that we all take different amounts of time to heal and that this is not a linear process.
Don’t let anyone dictate your recovery pace.
So please don’t blame yourself for not being able to control your emotions.
You already have enough in your chest and mind.
You don’t have to bring guilt and self-judgment to the table either.
YOU DON’T HAVE TO FORCE HAPPINESS
It’s the holiday season, the Christmas movies are on TV, literally everything is discounted, the whole town is covered in bright lights, the kids are getting gifts, everyone is decorating the Christmas tree…
A real idyllic atmosphere, right?
However, when you are feeling down, the last thing you want is to be pressured to feel happy just because everyone around you is in the Christmas spirit.
And that’s exactly what you should do: get emotional and excited all the time.
However, I’m here to tell you that you don’t have forced happiness if that’s not how you feel.
You don’t have to do anything you don’t want to do.
If you don’t want to ride the tree or not even celebrate Christmas, don’t let anyone talk about it.
If you want to skip the New Year’s party and feel much better spending a cozy evening wrapped in your blanket and watching TV, it’s also something you should do.
Instead of worrying that you will be seen as a freak for not following the flow, do what is best suited for your emotional and mental health.
Instead of meeting other people’s expectations and plight them, put yourself first and make this time of year as easy as possible for you.
BUT YOU SHOULDN’T FEEL GUILTY ABOUT BEING HAPPY EITHER.
When we’re in the middle of the grieving process, sometimes we stop being happy because of guilt.
Everyone who’s been through the loss of a loved one knows what I’m talking about.
You subconsciously do not allow yourself to continue living your life to the fullest without this person present in this world.
You think being happy without them would be a kind of betrayal, so you feel guilty for every breath you give simply because they no longer have a chance to do that.
For example, you stop making the traditions you followed with your loved one who passed away and feel that he resents you for living your life as if you had never been a part of it.
You think you don’t appreciate this person’s memory enough just because you dare to celebrate the holidays alone.
Well, let me tell you that this is the worst thing you could do yourself, because then, you will not only miss the person we are talking about, but also the vacation and everything related to it.
In fact, you will probably end up being torn between your true desires and your subconscious that haunts you.
Also, keep in mind that the loved ones you’ve lost would be happy to see you happy – the last thing they’d like is to see you overwhelmed with their memory.
BE HONEST WITH THE PEOPLE AROUND YOU
Another important thing you should not forget when missing a loved one during the holiday season is to be honest with everyone around you.
Don’t get me wrong – that doesn’t mean you’re bound to pour out your soul in front of all the people you know or cross your path.
However, to keep your relationships healthy, you need to tell your closest loved ones how you feel and present them with your plans.
For example, if you don’t want to attend Christmas dinner or celebrate New Year’s Eve with your friends, let them know on time and talk briefly about their reasons because you don’t want them to feel offended or think you’re avoiding them.
Also, just because you’ve lost a loved one doesn’t mean you still don’t have many people who care about you.
Of course, one person cannot replace the other, but you must turn to those who are still in this world when you are going through difficult times.
Even if you don’t think so, trust me when I say that the people around you can and will help you ease your pain – you just need to leave them and give them access.
YOU’RE GOING TO GET BETTER
I know someone telling you that you’re going to be better is the last thing you want to hear.
I know this kind of makes it like an empty phrase and something people say to comfort you when they’re speechless.
However, it’s really the truth.
No, you will never forget your loved one in heaven, but eventually you will learn to live with pain.
The holidays will pass and before you know it, you will be forced to return to your daily routine and everyday activities.
Until next season comes…